Author: Tova Mordechai

My life is being driven by an unknown force. I must allow myself to be driven, because if I don't, I fear the outcome. My whole life has never been what I want, but always tainted with what He wants. Sometimes, it has only been slightly colored, other times fully dyed, but there has always been at least a tiny show of color somewhere. Dear Father in heaven, You know all about me. You read me like an open book. I see myself as a dirty, crumpled book, tattered and torn. The contents of the book are superb… but the only thing is, the pages are so dirty you can hardly read the writing. But You can read it, Father. You know every word. Only You in this whole wide world can help me. I think I'm in a bigger mess than I imagine. I know it's my fault. I don't blame You for one moment. I don't blame anyone. Only myself.


How does Tonica Marlow, an envangelical female minister, find her way to becoming Tova Mordechai, an Orthodox, practicing Jew? To Play With Fire is the riveting tale of one who rose through the ranks of her religion, educated and ordained at a noted theological seminary - not only as a minister, but as a “prophetess” of her faith - while remaining unfulfilled, despairing and numb inside. Born the daughter of an Egyptian Jewish mother and a British Protestant evangelical father, Tova Mordechai presents the powerful real-life account of her tumultuous journey to Judaism as she grapples with Christianity and finds freedom in her Jewish roots.

Tova Mordechai resides in Safed, Israel with her husband and four children. She is the assistant to the directors at the Chaya Mushka and Machon Alte seminaries. Tova also lectures throughout the world on being Jewish in contemporary society.

Softcover, 447 pages
ISBN 965-7108-35-7
Publication: February 2002

Winner of the WordWeaving Award for Excellence

Praise for To Play With Fire:

To Play With Fire is powerfully relevant to all of us because it is the story of our lives. Tova Mordechai's life odyssey with its bizarre twists and turns - Christian artist, composer and preacher, born to an evangelist father and an Egyptian Jewish mother - amplifies the essence of our own strange journey, through darkness and light, chaos and order. 
Simon Jacobson
author of Toward A Meaningful Life

The spiritual struggle documented in To Play With Fire is an unbelievable testimonial to the triumph of a Jewish soul over unspeakable odds.
Basha Majerczyk
Algemeiner Journal

Here at last, for those who’ve waited.... To Play With Fire vividly describes the author’s painful ordeal in her transition from Christian pietist to Jewish observer. Never does Tova Mordechai preach. Candidly, with depth and a good deal of humor, she describes the conflicts…which ultimately led to her breaking away from the shocking, repressive routine within the college. To Play With Fire is a superb behind-the-scenes account of this belief…. This book is highly recommended.
Simcha Mandel
Country Yossi Magazine

The saga of a Jewish soul is always a good read, and seldom is a neshama as articulate as in this book. Tova's story is compelling, her prose captivating - her heart very much in evidence. To Play With Fire is a great book.
Rabbi Manis Friedman
author of Why Doesn’t Anyone Blush Anymore?